


Weather, Man!

by AnonEhouse



Series: Starvation Sleep-Deprivation Stories [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Llamas, M/M, Public Nudity, weather forecaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony report on the weather.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weather, Man!

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"And that's how this morning in the San Francisco Bay area looks to be shaping up," Steve said. He turned at the sound of the door to the weather studio slamming shut. "And good morning to _you_ , Tony!" Steve said, pointedly.

"Late, late, I know I'm late, not my fault, I had to rescue ducks in the road, llamas on the expressway, homeless kittens with 'will mew for milk' signs..." Tony came around the counter at a run, loosening his tie and grinning as he got into camera range next to Steve. Then he stopped dead. "STEVE," he cried in aggrieved tones, "What _are_ you wearing?"

Steve tilted his face down under his yellow sou'wester hat. "You know we have to dress appropriately for the weather, Tony." He plucked at his baggy yellow slicker and wiggled his shiny, yellow, rubber booted, feet.

"It's not supposed to rain today! I did the math! My math is never wrong!"

"The barometer tells another story." Steve waved his hand at the blue-holographics overlaying the map. And then there was a crack of lightning followed almost immediately by a long, rolling, lion-growl, of thunder. "And there's that," Steve added dryly.

"For heaven's sake," Tony said. He pulled out a cell phone and hit speed-dial. He was talking before he got it to his ear. "Jane! Please, please, call Sparky to visit you in Tromsø! He's ruining our show. I'll pay for the smorgasbord- all he can eat!" He clicked the phone shut and pointed at the holo-barometer. "And... wait for it..." The numbers suddenly shifted and tiny red and gold holobutterflies fluttered around a tiny sun. Tony spread his hands and took a bow. "Picnics and outdoor birthday parties saved. I'm good. I'm really good."

Steve sighed, but he was grinning. "Fine, you win." Steve took off his hat. "But get a move on. We're late. People have to get to work, you know."

"Nag, nag, nag." Tony stripped off his tie and laid it on the desk.

"If I didn't push you, you'd never get anything done," Steve replied as he took off the sou-wester. He wasn't wearing anything underneath it.

"That, that is a vile calumny. I do... lots of things without you nagging." Tony's skinned out of his jacket and shirt in one move. "I did the farming reports!" He waved his hand and a series of video clips with weather data ran beside them.

"I notice you concentrated on the wine-growing regions." Steve pulled off his boots.

"It's a vital part of our economy! People need to know where their next bottle of Zinfandel is coming from!" Tony unzipped his trousers.

"No, Tony," Steve said. "Shoes."

Tony pouted but he pulled off his shoes. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic." Steve took off his yellow trousers and stood, naked, next to Tony, also naked, who was about three inches shorter without the shoes. "So, folks, it's turning out to be a really nice day. Before we turn you over to Hawkeye with the aerial traffic, we'd like to remind you that this will be our last show for three weeks. We're off for an anniversary cruise." 

Tony added, "To an unspoiled clothing optional island. We'll return more beautiful than ever." Then he turned over, bent and wiggled his ass. "The end."

Steve put his hands over his face. "Tony," he scolded.

"What? It was good enough for my old man!"

Steve sighed. "Please, Pepper, cut to Hawkeye now."

Tony watched as the monitor lights blinked off, and the view changed to Hawkeye in his trademark purple thong, flying his helicopter and pointing out traffic blockages with purple holo-arrows. Then he looked at Steve. "Mad at me?"

"Nah." Steve gave Tony a quick kiss on the cheek. "Just tell me you were kidding about the llamas."

"Mmmmmaaybe."


End file.
